2008 (20 days so far...)

Seriously speaking, it hadn't really went well so far for this year.
Let's start with the cambodia trip, when I finally have the courage to ask my dad if he will allow me to go. He immediately said a no and the reasons for his decisions were those i can't deny which are safety. Of course i am sad because, i still can't carry out my hopes and vision which is to help others especially children and this trip would be a good opportunity provided by my school.

Moving on, some of you might have heard me sharing about my hope to enter this programme that allows me to graduate from advanced diploma and head to Monash University in Australia and spend only about a year there. Sadly on last friday I was told that the collaboration didn't went though with the Uni. Of course I am sad, because if i am able to get into this programme, my future will be like virtually be sealed by this year!

I don't know if you know it but I used to be a normal academic student, spending 5 years in secondary school instead of the most people will go to 4 years streams instead. It wasn't easy right from the start when my PSLE was released. I spent many years stuggling with it and last year, my relationship with God were almost broken because of it. The journey was really tough. My parents weren't happy with it, and there's the pressure from the start. People around will just look down on us. Even my former school HOD's and management committee from the school weren't really bothered with us at all. However I was blessed with great teachers, good friends, good classmates and God to carry me through.

Recently there were a few articles about the N(A) students on newsapapers, reporting how badly they fare for O levels and even have one about the principal telling to go to ITE instead. I was saddened by it the moment I read it. I came from that route and I know how hard it was. I do have to agree that N(A) students don't do well for O levels. The gap from sec 4 and sec 5 is really huge not only in studying but also discipline to cover the gap. To be honest, I think I spent the whole year wasting my time. Lots of things happened in my class, there weren't a chemistry teacher for about 8 months. There were even conflict problems. My mid-year results were so bad that it was a wake up call for me but it didn't last long till prelims, which was over 30 points anyway. I have never tell anyone( not even my family members) about it and i am blogging it now. I really thank God that after my prelims I met a teacher who is a christian serving in Calvary Baptist church. She gave huge encouragement to my class, especially to me. During the time just before O levels, i hae no school but I smsed her if i could go down to school and ask her to teach me. She did it without complains. I was really touched by it.

To be honest, it wasn't the amount of effort the teachers placed in teaching that allow me to have a good result for my O levels as an N(A) student. But it was their constant encouragement and motivation that pushed me till the end. Really, I knew almost nothing about chem till after my PRELIMS!

Therefore to all O levels takers this year especially for N(A) students, do not be afraid of what they say your results will be. They did say the same thing to me. But don't be disappointed by it but be determined by it instead. Prove them wrong and show them that you are just any person taking the O levels that want to do well!

Above all, I have received a card from my Uncle. The one whom I prayed for since christmas. I sent him a card on christmas day and a sms on new year but there wasn't a reply so I was quite disappointed till I received a Chinese New year card. I cried :) It's not really bad to cry isn't it. Do continue to pray with me as I WANT TO COLLECT MORE ANGBOWS FROM MY RELATIVES THIS YEAR :p ( It actually mean visting them; hopefully everyone and I believe that with a touch of grace, they will be touch and soon the family will be close) I am also praying that they will attend the church retreat too! Since they reside in M'sia why not join along! :D I imagined relatives from my dad's and mom's side coming. If that happens! It will be like a wedding dinner for my parents again! hahaha :D Pray for me.

In God i will seek, trust and follow in obedience.