Life has been tiring.
School is still on when everyone else seems to be slacking and having fun.
Worries and dark futures are increasing
What else can i say but say that I am getting burnout.
I wonder how I got the energy to push each day each morning on the way to school.
But somehow I made it.
Can I make it in the end and soar with wings like eagles?
:(
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Monday, August 4, 2008
The best 2 months of my life
June and July
Yes, these 2 months are extremely meaningful to me right now.
I gained a closer relationship with the wonderful almighty Lord through drums. I was struggling a lot about my position as a drummer for the Lord. I was close to giving up playing drums as I felt that I wasn't good enough and that I should make way for better players, I was even worried that the Lord will be disappointed nor satisfied that I am not playing well. But he has shown how gracious he is to me when it was a Sunday morning when I was listening to Hosanna to prepare myself as I play in church and there's this part whereby the lyrics says that God washes off our sin away. This sentence calm me down and that it comfort me by telling me that, we, as a human being, we do make mistakes, but by God's grace, he washes our sin away and forgives us. This made me feel easier playing with the Lord and I was able to feel God's presence at the drums on that day, really felt he was close to me.
Of course, birthday celebrations and wishes and celebrating friends birthday made my day too for June!
Now for July,
I completed my 1st ever 10km. The timing was average but I still managed to finish my 1st ever 10km well and feeling great. Felt like a great way to spend in the morning, thought I felt stupid running and struggling so hard at a certain point. Really thank the Lord for protecting me and pushing me. I managed to make it to church on that day too. I felt his blessing upon me. There was this moment where it was within the last few metres, I nearly tripped and fell on the ground face first! That will be bad! Thankfully, I managed to react to it quickly and recover as I was falling down.
This is ME after my 10km run!
Thank God!
Believe in yourself, have a positive mind and treasure the times = doing the absolute best
Yes, these 2 months are extremely meaningful to me right now.
I gained a closer relationship with the wonderful almighty Lord through drums. I was struggling a lot about my position as a drummer for the Lord. I was close to giving up playing drums as I felt that I wasn't good enough and that I should make way for better players, I was even worried that the Lord will be disappointed nor satisfied that I am not playing well. But he has shown how gracious he is to me when it was a Sunday morning when I was listening to Hosanna to prepare myself as I play in church and there's this part whereby the lyrics says that God washes off our sin away. This sentence calm me down and that it comfort me by telling me that, we, as a human being, we do make mistakes, but by God's grace, he washes our sin away and forgives us. This made me feel easier playing with the Lord and I was able to feel God's presence at the drums on that day, really felt he was close to me.
Of course, birthday celebrations and wishes and celebrating friends birthday made my day too for June!
Now for July,
I completed my 1st ever 10km. The timing was average but I still managed to finish my 1st ever 10km well and feeling great. Felt like a great way to spend in the morning, thought I felt stupid running and struggling so hard at a certain point. Really thank the Lord for protecting me and pushing me. I managed to make it to church on that day too. I felt his blessing upon me. There was this moment where it was within the last few metres, I nearly tripped and fell on the ground face first! That will be bad! Thankfully, I managed to react to it quickly and recover as I was falling down.
This is ME after my 10km run!
Thank God!
Believe in yourself, have a positive mind and treasure the times = doing the absolute best
Sunday, January 20, 2008
2008 (20 days so far...)
Seriously speaking, it hadn't really went well so far for this year.
Let's start with the cambodia trip, when I finally have the courage to ask my dad if he will allow me to go. He immediately said a no and the reasons for his decisions were those i can't deny which are safety. Of course i am sad because, i still can't carry out my hopes and vision which is to help others especially children and this trip would be a good opportunity provided by my school.
Moving on, some of you might have heard me sharing about my hope to enter this programme that allows me to graduate from advanced diploma and head to Monash University in Australia and spend only about a year there. Sadly on last friday I was told that the collaboration didn't went though with the Uni. Of course I am sad, because if i am able to get into this programme, my future will be like virtually be sealed by this year!
I don't know if you know it but I used to be a normal academic student, spending 5 years in secondary school instead of the most people will go to 4 years streams instead. It wasn't easy right from the start when my PSLE was released. I spent many years stuggling with it and last year, my relationship with God were almost broken because of it. The journey was really tough. My parents weren't happy with it, and there's the pressure from the start. People around will just look down on us. Even my former school HOD's and management committee from the school weren't really bothered with us at all. However I was blessed with great teachers, good friends, good classmates and God to carry me through.
Recently there were a few articles about the N(A) students on newsapapers, reporting how badly they fare for O levels and even have one about the principal telling to go to ITE instead. I was saddened by it the moment I read it. I came from that route and I know how hard it was. I do have to agree that N(A) students don't do well for O levels. The gap from sec 4 and sec 5 is really huge not only in studying but also discipline to cover the gap. To be honest, I think I spent the whole year wasting my time. Lots of things happened in my class, there weren't a chemistry teacher for about 8 months. There were even conflict problems. My mid-year results were so bad that it was a wake up call for me but it didn't last long till prelims, which was over 30 points anyway. I have never tell anyone( not even my family members) about it and i am blogging it now. I really thank God that after my prelims I met a teacher who is a christian serving in Calvary Baptist church. She gave huge encouragement to my class, especially to me. During the time just before O levels, i hae no school but I smsed her if i could go down to school and ask her to teach me. She did it without complains. I was really touched by it.
To be honest, it wasn't the amount of effort the teachers placed in teaching that allow me to have a good result for my O levels as an N(A) student. But it was their constant encouragement and motivation that pushed me till the end. Really, I knew almost nothing about chem till after my PRELIMS!
Therefore to all O levels takers this year especially for N(A) students, do not be afraid of what they say your results will be. They did say the same thing to me. But don't be disappointed by it but be determined by it instead. Prove them wrong and show them that you are just any person taking the O levels that want to do well!
Above all, I have received a card from my Uncle. The one whom I prayed for since christmas. I sent him a card on christmas day and a sms on new year but there wasn't a reply so I was quite disappointed till I received a Chinese New year card. I cried :) It's not really bad to cry isn't it. Do continue to pray with me as I WANT TO COLLECT MORE ANGBOWS FROM MY RELATIVES THIS YEAR :p ( It actually mean visting them; hopefully everyone and I believe that with a touch of grace, they will be touch and soon the family will be close) I am also praying that they will attend the church retreat too! Since they reside in M'sia why not join along! :D I imagined relatives from my dad's and mom's side coming. If that happens! It will be like a wedding dinner for my parents again! hahaha :D Pray for me.
In God i will seek, trust and follow in obedience.
Let's start with the cambodia trip, when I finally have the courage to ask my dad if he will allow me to go. He immediately said a no and the reasons for his decisions were those i can't deny which are safety. Of course i am sad because, i still can't carry out my hopes and vision which is to help others especially children and this trip would be a good opportunity provided by my school.
Moving on, some of you might have heard me sharing about my hope to enter this programme that allows me to graduate from advanced diploma and head to Monash University in Australia and spend only about a year there. Sadly on last friday I was told that the collaboration didn't went though with the Uni. Of course I am sad, because if i am able to get into this programme, my future will be like virtually be sealed by this year!
I don't know if you know it but I used to be a normal academic student, spending 5 years in secondary school instead of the most people will go to 4 years streams instead. It wasn't easy right from the start when my PSLE was released. I spent many years stuggling with it and last year, my relationship with God were almost broken because of it. The journey was really tough. My parents weren't happy with it, and there's the pressure from the start. People around will just look down on us. Even my former school HOD's and management committee from the school weren't really bothered with us at all. However I was blessed with great teachers, good friends, good classmates and God to carry me through.
Recently there were a few articles about the N(A) students on newsapapers, reporting how badly they fare for O levels and even have one about the principal telling to go to ITE instead. I was saddened by it the moment I read it. I came from that route and I know how hard it was. I do have to agree that N(A) students don't do well for O levels. The gap from sec 4 and sec 5 is really huge not only in studying but also discipline to cover the gap. To be honest, I think I spent the whole year wasting my time. Lots of things happened in my class, there weren't a chemistry teacher for about 8 months. There were even conflict problems. My mid-year results were so bad that it was a wake up call for me but it didn't last long till prelims, which was over 30 points anyway. I have never tell anyone( not even my family members) about it and i am blogging it now. I really thank God that after my prelims I met a teacher who is a christian serving in Calvary Baptist church. She gave huge encouragement to my class, especially to me. During the time just before O levels, i hae no school but I smsed her if i could go down to school and ask her to teach me. She did it without complains. I was really touched by it.
To be honest, it wasn't the amount of effort the teachers placed in teaching that allow me to have a good result for my O levels as an N(A) student. But it was their constant encouragement and motivation that pushed me till the end. Really, I knew almost nothing about chem till after my PRELIMS!
Therefore to all O levels takers this year especially for N(A) students, do not be afraid of what they say your results will be. They did say the same thing to me. But don't be disappointed by it but be determined by it instead. Prove them wrong and show them that you are just any person taking the O levels that want to do well!
Above all, I have received a card from my Uncle. The one whom I prayed for since christmas. I sent him a card on christmas day and a sms on new year but there wasn't a reply so I was quite disappointed till I received a Chinese New year card. I cried :) It's not really bad to cry isn't it. Do continue to pray with me as I WANT TO COLLECT MORE ANGBOWS FROM MY RELATIVES THIS YEAR :p ( It actually mean visting them; hopefully everyone and I believe that with a touch of grace, they will be touch and soon the family will be close) I am also praying that they will attend the church retreat too! Since they reside in M'sia why not join along! :D I imagined relatives from my dad's and mom's side coming. If that happens! It will be like a wedding dinner for my parents again! hahaha :D Pray for me.
In God i will seek, trust and follow in obedience.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Hear our prayer
I just got this inspiration to put this song as a delication for this post "Hear our praises" right before I want to publish this post. Perhaps it really suits this post!
Great! I think the worshippers played well. I really prayed hard that everyone will play with the right heart and purpose in them. I am not searching for perfection in playing but the perfect purpose. Overall, we are playing for the Lord Almighty.
The one who will still be faithful to us even if we are faithless.
I really like that sentence as just shows how true and how strong especially I am one of those who walked away from him before.
During the sermon, Pastor shared and elaborated the goals for the church this year. I am quite amazed by her sharing and also she being able to draw parallel to investments. In the world when we see investments, to me it's like finance, properties, stocks. However there isn't once that is about sharing God's words to people as as investment and she shared about that.
I think this is a wonderful encouragement for me as i am embarking my personal journey to have my relatives opening their hearts for the Lord to come. Recently I blogged about my Uncle. I shall take today's sermon as a continuous cycle for me. I will definitely in investing into my relatives. I just wished that since my dad's and mom's relatives are both stationed in M'sia and there's gonno be a church retreat come June( MY BIRTHDAY MONTH!), okay kind of irony here :P.
I pray deeply that relatives for both my parents sides will go for the camp! I will be praying hard for that! Pray for me too that I am able to invite them!! Hopefully during Chinese New year! That's my plan. :)
We're running the race to win and in every victory let it be said of me, my source of strength, my source of hope, in Christ along.
Amen.
PS: I am starting to run more nowadays :p
Gute Nacht folks!
Friday, January 4, 2008
back from music prac!
Just came back from music practise. I was really nervous lar. Firstly the song my redeemer and there's this drums solo over that which is a killer for me.
I prayed really hard that the holy spirit will guide me through this. I even smsed my friend Cheryl to pray for me too since she's also a fellow drummer.
Really thank the Lord that it really went well.
Readers pray for me on Sunday that it will be better! Not only for me but everyone in the band together. Playing with God as our focus and reason why we play.
Amen.
I prayed really hard that the holy spirit will guide me through this. I even smsed my friend Cheryl to pray for me too since she's also a fellow drummer.
Really thank the Lord that it really went well.
Readers pray for me on Sunday that it will be better! Not only for me but everyone in the band together. Playing with God as our focus and reason why we play.
Amen.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
07?
Many things have happened for me in 07.
I don't know if I should post it.
Anyone out there? who say yes to it? Tag it!
I don't know if I should post it.
Anyone out there? who say yes to it? Tag it!
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